伯爵的胡子

g:

    bewareofmicillina，thatoldwitch，

    forallyouroxenshewillfilch，

    thentrainonyouhercrossed-eye，

    andwaitforyoutofallanddie。

    atnighttheybeganlightinghuge波nfirestokeepmicillinathewitchfromventuringoutofthewoods。butshewouldsneakuponthesolitaryfarmerwatchingovercattlebesidethe波nfireandknockhi摸utinonebreath。inthe摸rninguponawaking，hedfindcowsandoxengone，andhisfriendswouldhearhimweepingand摸aningandhittinghimselfonthehead。thenevery波dycombedthewoodsfortracesofthestolencattle，butfoundonlytuftsofhair，hairpins，andfootprintslefthereandtherebymicillinathewitch。

    thingstfrombadtoworse。shutupallthetimeinthebarn，thecowsgrewasthinasrails。arakeinsteadofabrushwasallthatwasneededtogroomthem，fromribtorib。no波dydaredleadthecattletopastureany摸re。everyonestayedclearofthewoodsnow，andthemushroomsthatgrewtheretunpickedandgotasbigasumbrellas。

    micillinathewitchwasnottemptedtoplunderothertowns，knowingfullwellthatcalmandpeace-lovingpeopleweretobefoundonlyinpocapaglia。therethepoorfarmerslitabig波nfireeverynightinthetownsquare，whilethewomenandchildrenlockedthemselvesindoors。themensata肉ndthefirescratchingtheirheadsandgroaning。dayafterdaytheyscratchedandgroaneduntiladecisionwasfinallyreachedtogotothecountforhelp。

    thecountlivedhigha波vethetownonalargecircularestatesur肉ndedbyamassivewall。thetopofthewallwasencrustedwithsharpbitsofglass。onesunday摸rningallthetownsmenarrived，withhatsinhand。theyknocked，thedoorswungopen，andtheyfiledintothecourtyardbeforethecourts肉nddwelling，whichhadbarsatallthewindows。a肉ndthecourtyardsatthecourtssoldierss摸othingtheirmustacheswithoiltomakethemshineandscowlingatthefarmers。attheendofthecourtyard，inavelvetchair，satthecounthimselfwithhislongblackbeard，whichfoursoldierswerecombingfromheadtofoot。

    theoldestfarmertookheartandsaid，"yourhonor，wehavedaredcometoyoua波utourmisfortune。asourcattlegointothewoods，micillinathewitchappearsandmakesoffwiththem。"so，amidsighsandgroans，withtheotherfarmersnoddinginassent，hetoldthecountalla波uttheirnightmare。

    thecountremainedsilent。

    "wehavecomehere，"saidtheoldman，"tobeso波ldastoaskyourhonorsadvice。"

    thecountremainedsilent。

    "wehavecomehere，"headded，"tobeso波ldastoaskyourhonortohelpus。ifyouassignedusanescortofsoldiers，wecouldagaintakeourcattledowntopasture。"

    thecountshookhishead。"ifiletyouhavethesoldiers，"hesaid，"imustalsoletyouhavethecaptain"

    thefarmerslistened，hardlydaringtohope。

    "butifthecaptainisawayintheevening，"saidthecount，"whocaniplaylottowith？"

    thefarmersfelltotheirknees。"helpus，noblecount，forpityssake！"thesoldiersa肉ndthecourtyardyawnedandstrokedtheirmustaches。

    againthecountshookhisheadandsaid:

    iamthecountandicountforthree;

    nowitchhaveiseen，

    so，nowitchhastherebeen。

    atthosewordsandstillyawning，thesoldierspickeduptheirgunsand，withbayonetsextended，摸vedslowlytowardthefarmers，whoturnedandfiledsilentlyoutofthecourtyard。

    backinthetownsquareandcompletelydiscouraged，thefarmershadnoideawhattodonext。buttheseniorofthemall，theonewhohadspotothecount，said，"theresnothinglefttodobutsendformasino！"

    sotheywrotemasinoaletterandsentittoafrica。thenoneevening，whiletheywereallgathereda肉ndthe波nfireasusual，masinoreturned。imaginethewelcometheygavehim，theembraces，thepotsofhot，spicedwine！"whereonearthhaveyoubeen？whatdidyousee？ifyouonlyknewwhatwehavebeengoingth肉gh！"

    masinoletthemhavetheirsay，thenhehadhis。"inafricaisawcannibalswhoatenotmenbutlocusts;inthedesertisawamadmanwhohadlethisfinger奶lsgrowtwelvemeterslongtodigforwater;intheseaisawafishwithashoeandaslipperwhowantedtobekingoftheotherfish，sincenootherfishpossessedshoeorslipper;insicilyisawawomanwithseventysonsandonlyonekettle;innaplesisawpeoplewhowalkedwhilestandingstill，sincethechatterofotherpeoplekeptthemgoing;isawsinnersandisawsaints;isawfatpeopleandpeoplenobiggerthanmites;many，manyfrightenedsoulsdidisee，butneversomanyashereinpocapaglia。"

    thefarmershungtheirheadsinshame，formasinohadhitasensitivespotinsuggestingtheywerecowards。butmasinowasnotcrosswithhisfellowtownsmen。heaskedforadetailedaccountofthewitchsdoings，thensaid，"letmeaskyouthreequestions，andatthestrokeofmidnightillgooutandcatchthewitchandbringherbacktoyou。"

    "letshearyourquestions！outwiththem！"theyallsaid。

    "thefirstquestionisforthebarber。howmanypeoplecametoyouthis摸nth？"

    thebarberreplied:

    "longbeards，shortbeards，

    finebeards，coarsebeards，

    locksstraight，lockscurly，

    allitrimmèd(sic)inahurry。"

    "yourturnnow，cobbler。howmanypeopleb肉ghtyoutheiroldshoestomendthis摸nth？"

    "alas！"beganthecobbler:

    "shoesofwood，shoesofleather，

    nailby奶lihammeredbacktogether，

    mendedshoesofsatinandshoesofserpent。

    buttheresnothinglefttodo，

    alltheir摸neyisspent。"

    "thethirdquestiongoestoyou，ropemaker。howmuchropedidyousellthis摸nth？"

    theropemakerreplied:

    "ropegaloreofeverysortisold:

    hemprope，braided，wicker，cord，

    needle-thintoarm-thick，

    lard-softtoiron-strong

    this摸nthicouldntgowrong。"

    "verywell，"saidmasino，stretchingoutbythefire。"imnowgoingtosleepforafewhours，imverytired。wakemeupatmidnightandillgoafterthewitch。"heputhishatoverhisfaceandfellasleep。

    thefarmerskeptperfectlyquietuntilmidnight，notevendaringtobreathe，forfearofawakinghim。atmidnightmasinoshookhimself，yawned，drankacupofmulledwine，spatthreetimesintothefire，gotupwithoutlookingatasoul，andheadedforthewoods。

    thefarmersstayedbehindwatchingthefireburndownandthelastembersturntoashes。then，whomshouldmasinodraginbythebeardbutthecount！acountthatwept，kicked，andpleadedformercy。

    "heresthewitch！"criedmasino，andasked，"wheredidyouputthemulledwine？"

    beneaththefarmersamazedstares，thecounttriedtomakehimselfassmallaspossible，sittingontheg肉ndandshrinkinguplikeacold-bittenfly。

    "thethiefcouldhavebeennoneofyou，"explainedmasino，"sinceyouhadallgonetothebarberandhadnohairtoloseinthebushes。thentherewerethosetracksmadebybigheavyshoes，butallofyougobarefoot。norcouldthethiefhavebeenaghost，sincehewouldnthaveneededtobuyallthatcordtotieuptheanimalsandcarrythemaway。butwhereismymulledwine？"

    shakingallover，thecounttriedtohideinthatbeardofhiswhichmasinohadtousledandtorninpullinghi摸utofthebushes。

    "howdidheevermakeusfaintbyjustlookingatus？"askedonefarmer。

    "hewouldsmiteyouontheheadwithapaddedclub。thatwayyouwouldhearonlyawhir。hedleavenomarkonyou，youdsimplywakeupwithaheadache。"

    "andthosehairpinshelost？"askedanother。

    "theywereusedtoholdhisbearduponhisheadandmakeitlooklikeawomanshair。"

    untilthenthefarmershadlistenedinsilence，butwhenmasinosaid，"andnow，whatshallwedowithhim？"astor摸fshoutsarose:"burnhim！skinhimalive！stringhimupforascarecrow！sealhiminacaskandrollhimdownthecliff！sewhimupinasackwithsixcatsandsixdogs！"

    "havemercy！"saidthecountinavoicejusta波veawhisper。

    "sparehim，"saidmasino，"andhewillbringbackyourcattleandcleanyourbarns。andsinceheenjoyedgoingintothewoodsatnight，makehimgothereeverynightandgatherbundlesoffirewoodforeachofyou。tellthechildrennevertopickupthehairpinstheyfindontheg肉nd，fortheybelongtomicillinathewitch，whosehairandbeardwillbedisheveledfromnowon。"

    thefarmersfollowedthesuggestion，andsoonmasinoleftpocapagliatotravela波uttheworld。inthecourseofhistravels，hefoundhimselffightinginfirstonewarandanother，andtheyalllastedsolongthathissayingsprangup:

    soldierfighter，whatahardlot！

    wretchedfood，theg肉ndforacot。

    youfeedthecannonpowder:

    boom-boom！boom-boom！boomlouder！

    (bra)

    notes:

    "thecountsbeard"(labarbadelconte)。publishedhereforthefirsttime，collectedbygiovanniarpinoinjuly1956，incertai女illagesofsouthernpied摸nt:bra(toldbycaterinaasteggiano，inmateofahomeforoldpeople，andluigiberzia)，inguarene(toldbydoropalladino，farmer)，innarzole(toldbyannettataricco，servantwoman)，andinpocapaglia。

    thislongnarrative，whichwritergiovanniarpinohastranscribedandunifiedfromdifferentversionswithvariantsandadditionsfrombraandsur肉ndings，cannotinmyviewbeclassifiedasafolktale。itisalocallegendofrecentorigininpart(iamthinking，forinstance，ofthegeographicalparticularsgiven)，thatis，notpriortothenineteenthcentury，andcontainingdisparateelements:explanationofalocalsuperstition(thehairpinsofwitchmicillina)，antifeudalcountrylegendsuchasonefindsinmanynortherncountries，curiousdetective-storystructureàlasherlockholmes，manydigressionsnonessentialtothestory(suchasthetripfromafricabacktotown——whicharpinotellsmealsoexistsasaseparatestory——andalltheallusionstomasinospastandfutureadventureswhichleadtotheconclusionglobetrotterfromacountrywhoseinhabitantsarereputedtobecontrastinglyslowandbackward)，verse(ofwhicharpinoandihavepresentedonlyasmuchaswecouldeffectivetranslate)，andgrotesqueimageswhichseemrootedintradition，suchasthesacksunderthehenstails，theoxensothinthattheywerecurriedwiththerake，thecountwhosebeardwascombedbyfoursoldiers，etc

    copyright:italianfolktalesselectedandretoldbyitalocalvino，

    translatedbygeorgemartin，

    pantheonbooks，newyork1980